Shallow

this loneliness settles in my veins
you know it better than most
the thick liquid seeping from under my eyes
and fingernails
and bones
retching into empty bathroom stalls
stained with love letters:
a + s forever

but darling,
we’re not even in the present, let alone the future.

i like it when you fuck me,
eighteen syllables from polite conversation
and that same bleeding echoing in your
clenched fists and tight lips
i forgot, was this supposed to be a fight?

but you bite my thighs and tell me how
sweet i taste, like summer rain on your tongue
the storms that follow in the middle of the night
or maybe the dust that settles over everything
wet and mildewing
a + s forever, baby.

our hunger makes us vulnerable to all these half-smiles
blown kisses and backward glances
and being left here
alone
again
in this bed
my veins pulsing seething black rat vomit:
all i need is a razor blade
and no one to cry wolf.

darling, leave me in the present
i’ve got no future to give.